Dr Havoc's Diary Wiki
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This is a transcribed copy of Episode 9. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: Episode 8 Next: Episode 10

Dr. Havoc: Well, well, well, what do we have–WOAH! Ugh. Jesus. Oh, God. Uh... fuck. This is really fucking dangerous. You know what? Let’s take this downstairs into the train cars. Do this down there.
Brock: What’s the matter, Havoc? Afraid to fight me like a man?
Havoc: No, no I’ll fight you, just–I wanna do it downstairs. We’re on top of a moving train! It’s just–it’s really easy to die!
Brock: I’m not going anywhere, Havoc. We’re doing this now. Here.
Havoc: This is crazy!
Henchman Kyle: Uh, actually sir, according to the Henchman Handbook: ‘all train battles should take place on top of the train, so as not to disturb the paying customers onboard’. (the handbook flies away in the wind) Wh–oh, shit.
Henchman Steve: Don’t worry, boss. I’ll take care of him! (falls off and screams)
Havoc: Holy shit!
Brock: Oh wow. He just–he just popped like a water balloon when he hit the side of that mountain.
Havoc: Okay, can we please go downstairs??
Brock: NO. We’re doing this. Right here, right now–oh! Tunnel! (they duck)
Havoc: (screaming)
Brock: Stop screaming!
Havoc: (screams and tosses the severed head away)
Brock: I—yup, that got me. (vomits)
Havoc: Whaddya think now, Brock?! Huh?! Whaddya think now?! His head just got taken off by a FUCKING. PIGEON!! Do you now believe me that it’s too dangerous to be up here, having a GOD. DAMN. BATTLE!?!

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